Funny Riddles

There is a man in a 4 story building. He jumps out of the window and is unharmed. He used no padding, and had no harm done. How?

I have eight to spare and am covered with hair.

What is bought by the yard by is worn by the foot?

What kind of apple has a short temper?

If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea what does it become?

What type of dress can never be worn?

What’s has feathers, a bowed head and kneels?

What do mathematics teachers like to eat?

What has a bottom right at the top?

Teddy bears are never hungry because they are always what?

What do pandas have that no other animal has?

What did one math book say to another?

When you do not know what I am, then I am something. But when you know what I am, then I am nothing. What am I?

A device for finding furniture in the dark.

How a big, hibernating mammal would show affection.

What do you call two witches who live together?

What’s the reason why didn’t Jonah trust the ocean?

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a pig?

What do elves learn in school?

What is a shark’s most favorite bible story?

What do you get when you cross a vampire and teacher?

What is a cat on ice?

What day, within a week of today, does not end in "Y"?

What can you never have for breakfast?

What takes hours to pull off
Is most satisfying when it's done
And requires consent from the person you're doing it to?

I am owned by every man, though my length differs. Their wives uses me after getting married. What am I?

What do elves do after school?

What kind of cup doesn't hold water?

What kind of fish chases a mouse?

What is red and smells like blue paint?

What does a newspaper reporter use to dry himself after his shower?

Who always enjoys poor health?

What is a witch's favorite school subject?

I fly away as soon as you set me loose. People around you may slowly move away once they sense my presence. What am I?

I give milk and have a horn but I'm not a cow. Who am I?

What are you certain to find inside your pocket when you reach into it?

What ship has no captain but two mates?

There is an ancient invention. Still used in some parts of the world today. That allows people to see through walls.

Where do butterflies sleep?

If two is a company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?

What is never eaten before lunch?

What is big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten mom's day?

What is it that no man wants, but no man wants to lose?

What did Sir Lancelot wear to bed?

When your undies attack you.

What is an astronaut's favorite snack?

What is the wealthiest nut?

What kind of dog chases anything red?

What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?

I saw a strange creature,
Long, hard, and straight,
Thrusting in a round, dark, opening,
Preparing to discharge its load of lives,
Puffing and squealing noises accompanied it,
Then a final screech as it slowed and stopped.

Which is the oldest tree?

What do angels sing in the shower?

What does a cat have that no other animal has?

What follows a dog wherever it goes?

With pointed fangs it sits in wait,
With piercing force it doles out fate,
Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,
Eternally joining in a single bite
What is it?

What's red and bad for your teeth?

According to many students, dogs have an appetite for this paper item.

I cannot hear or even see,
But sense light and sounds there may be,
Sometimes I end up on a hook,
I can be combined with a book.
What am I?

I stink in living but when dead smells good. What am I?

What key is the hardest to turn?

What is the best possible way to study the Bible?

This type of tempting cuisine is independent of utensils and usually tastes better than it sounds.

All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

I am the place to turn when nature calls. What am I?

What is the difference between one yard and two yards?

What does a stone become when in the water?

He is not the skinniest of felines.

What's the one thing that Democrats and Republicans share in common?

What goes up and down without moving?

What suits do lawyers wear?

How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?

A big shiny black car nobody wants to be a passenger in.

You are a bus driver, 8 people get on, 2 people get off, 2 more people get on and another 1 get off. Finally, 3 more people get on and 2 get off again. How old is the bus driver?

Where do sailors take their baths?

What has a head yet it never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps, can run but can not walks, and has a bank but not a cent to its name?

I saw a strange creature. Long, hard, and straight, thrusting into a round, dark opening. Preparing to discharge its load of lives. Puffing and squealing noises accompanied it, then a final screech as it slowed and stopped.

What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?